**UNPROFESSIONAL ATTIRE & SEX/RELATIONSHIPS WITH PATIENTS**
This series is designed for those who want to remain professional but have hit some bumps in the road. I understand and have come to the conclusion that many people hate truth, wisdom, and knowledge. To you who love straightforward insight keep watching.
Many people hate to hear messages like this because it takes away the fun of being flirtatious and "making the day go by fast". Some people also feel that it is "judging others" when you ask them to really examine their motives on sensitive topics like these. Some people feel that it is ok for a patient and staff to have a relationship if they keep it to themselves.
UNPROFESSIONAL ATTIRE:
Some people think that it is ok to dress extra "sexy on the job". The thing is there is nothing wrong with looking very good, but the line is crossed when you are trying to send a message other than professionalism. There are people who call it sexual harassment for a patient to ask for their number or give them a sexual compliment. They feel they can dress anyway and don't understand the "unwanted attention" but really.............?
What are the roots/motives in your heart?
Please ask yourself what kind of message are you sending your patient, when your G-String is showing when you bend down and you are in the tightest scrubs ever and your breast is about to pop out of that shirt.
ASK YOURSELF
-In dress- Are you purposely exposing yourself for compliments and attention?
-In conversation -Do you flirt and send other inappropriate messages like "hey big daddy". The patient could say "hey how do you know I am big down there? This leads to a downward slope of unprofessionalism.
-In body language- Do you touch the patient inappropriately? By giving seductive back rubs or rubbing their hands and extremities in a flirtatious manner?
TAKE MY SITUATION FOR INSTANCE
-In my early days as an employee, I Cassia Ann use to wear revealing work scrubs that were too tight and showed the outline of my underwear and body parts. By wearing these clothes, several male patients told me that they wanted to "take me home and get it on". I took this as a compliment that I was looking good, being the dummy I was. But really I was stirring up a deeper issue that would come back to bite me. As I continued to flirt and wear inappropriate clothes one man said that he couldn't take it anymore and demanded my number so I can be his one and only woman. Once I declined, I entered new problems with him.
1. He started accusing me of flirting with other men and began to get angry for no reason.
2. He told others that I belonged to him "only" and his sexual intentions "I want to smash you bad".
3. He got angry at me once I left his station to help other patients.
4. He didn't want me to cannulate him because he felt I was a traitor.
5. He started cursing me out and using profanity because he felt rejected and vulnerable. Vulnerable because he was on dialysis and told me that is why he thinks I am rejecting him.
***I DISCOVERED MY DEEP ROOTED ISSUES IN THIS SITUATION***
-I enjoyed the attention.
-I deeply wanted to be noticed.
-When I wasn't getting compliments on appropriate wear, I thought something was wrong and so I tightened my attire up to make it revealing.
-The bottom line is, I needed to examine my motives and not present myself cheaply for derogatory compliments.
RELATIONSHIPS/SEX WITH PATIENTS
9 times out of 10 if a staff develops a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship with a patient it will turn out sexual.
-If the patient and staff were dating before the person started working at the facility then that is another story.
-The danger comes in when you as a worker let your guard down professionally wise.
-The danger for patients is there is a chance they can really get hurt and feel more vulnerable. Meaning...the staff will know all of your intimate business, and knowledge is power.
-Every relationship has problems and you don't know how a person will handle an argument or temporary breakup.
-If you break up with the patient, you put yourself at risk for your sex deeds to be disclosed in the unit as well as other personal information about your life.
-If you left the job and wanted to date a patient, that is a different story and that would be better than dating while working.
The American Mental Health Code of Ethics on Termination in Psychotherapy and Counseling states: Anyone working in this field who is interested in dating a client will have to wait two years after they counseled the person. Follow this rule if possible.
CASE SCENARIO 1:
JACK the patient, fell in love with JILL his dialysis technician. He loves the tight clothes she wears and loves watching her twirl around in the chair all while showing her G-String on purpose. Jill doesn't see a problem with her attire and feels that anyone that is against her dressing is an automatic hater. She thinks that she should be able to express her freedom as a beautiful woman in outfits that are not professional. Jack feels this energy and is developing deep feelings for Jill because of the way she flirts with him and whispers sexual jokes in his ear. She sometimes gives him a 5 minute back massage when his back is aching from sitting in the dialysis chair for so long. The way she rubs his back turns him on completely.
One day Jack develops the guts to ask Jill for her number and invite her for a night out. Jill was a little hesitant, but gave Jack her number and decided to take him up on the offer. Later that week Jack picks Jill up and they go out. Jill feels that she is falling for Jack because of his gentleman and romantic ways with her. She and Jack soon decide to be a "secret gossip proof couple". No one will find out about their relationship because they agreed to keep it to themselves. Soon Jack and Jill become intimate and everything seems to be going well. One day Jack and Jill went to a fancy restaurant and Jill saw one of her patients, Erin, at the place. Erin and her husband said hello to both Jill and Jack and continued on with their night. Within a week of these two seeing Erin, rumors began to spread. Jill wonders where they are coming from, but then she remembers that Erin saw both of them.
Within a month of the rumors, Jill finds out that Jack is a cheat, and Jack also found out that Jill is not as Tidy as he expected her to be and this irritates him. So they both collide and accuse each other of various things and the relationship ends. Jack still attends the facility Jill works at. He is still fuming at how Jill accused him of cheating and nervous she will tell others of their intimate moments and his other health conditions. Jill is also scared that she may lose her job over this if Jack decides to flip out and broadcast her intimate and personal business to the patients, staff, and her enemies.
THIS IS A SITUATION YOU NEED TO CONSIDER:
-Someone is always watching you, what is done in the dark comes out in the light.
-Jack and Jill were spotted by Erin and she spreads gossip.
-The nasty breakup can cause bad stress for both parties: Jill because she has a job to keep and Jack because he feels more vulnerable.
-Make the right choices and if you don't figure out where you went wrong and do your best to mend it.
-If you had sex with a patient, disconnect the relationship in the right way (non-confrontational), and transfer immediately.
-Love is possible with staff and patient, but there is a way to do everything. It would be better than you quit that job first or work at a different company, not just the facility.
CASE SCENARIO 2:
Ms. Candle is a beautiful 36-year-old single woman, she has been on dialysis for a year but relocated to another facility closer to her home. Her tech's name Mr. Flyer, and he takes very good care of her. Mr. Flyer has a habit of wearing super tight superman pants that show the imprint of his privates. He takes pride in the fact that he is huge in that area and that all his former lovers voted him best in bed. He has had Ms. Candle for one month now and she has been eyeing his privates that bulge out in his tight uniform pants while he is putting her on. She often jokes that she wants to quickly feel his cassava for the fun of it because it is big. He jokes around and tells her to touch it. He also thinks that Ms. Candle is sexy and he enjoys the different revealing outfits she wears. He is tired of his nagging wife at home and he has been looking for someone to take her place but on the side only. Ms. Candle doesn't know that Mr. Flyer is a married man and it never even crossed her mind, because of the way he flirts. Months go by and Mr. Glyer asks her out. She gives him her number on a piece of paper and kisses it with her lipstick lips. They go out and form a relationship shortly after that week of going out they become intimate at some hotel. Ms. Candle feels that she has found her soul mate and she never wants to let Mr. Flyer go. She is deeply attached to him, to the point that other patients recognize that there is something going on between her and Mr. Flyer. He has started calling her in first. Even though another patient was out there before her. He sits by her chair and holds long conversations and gives her preferential treatment. Patients overhear them constantly talking about their steamy nights together and their new adventures.
His patients began to get disgusted and upset and banned together to complain to management about this on a particular Monday, and here's the big coincidence. Mr. Flyer's wife comes up to the job on that same Monday because she found out he was sleeping with some patient named Ms. Candle. She found Ms. Candle's lip kissed number in her husband's scrub pants plus found some emails from Ms. Candle on the computer she and her husband shared (she somehow breached the security password). Mr. Flyers' wife drives up to the facility, and enters the unit through the patient area door and creates a drama scene. Ms. Candle begins to cry and argue with Mr. Flyer and argue with Mr. Flyer and his wife. She felt cheated and used in this situation. Her blood pressure begins to rise and she demands to get off the machine to deal with this embarrassing mess. The manager of the facility gets involved and a meeting is held regarding this situation. the manager had to fire Mr. Flyer once it was verified that he had inappropriate relations with ms. Candle. Mr. Flyer was banned from all dialysis units and couldn't find another job. He decided to go into stripping once he was hit with the divorce papers from his wife. Ms. Candle was deeply hurt, and later fell into depression and suicidal thoughts once she found out, and she had received an STD from Mr. Flyer. She later relocated to another clinic and continued her treatments.
THIS IS A LESSON YOU NEED TO CONSIDER:
-With any relationship, verify if the person is married.
-Professional attire will save you from lustful problems.
-Ms.Candle was drawn by her curiosity and lust.
-Mr. Flyer enjoyed women lusting after him because it boosted false self-esteem. He had other deeply rooted issues.
-Mr. Flyer was very unprofessional encouraging Ms. Candle to touch his cassava and even develop an intimate relationship with her...his patient.
-Situations like these can get someone killed. What if Mr. Flyer's wife was a psycho and found them in a hotel and shot both of them.
-Save your life by being professional to the best of your ability.
No one is perfect, but you can educate yourself and stay in line with the rules of professionalism within your unit.
MY BOOKS HERE
Periscope: https://www.pscp.tv/CASSIA_ANN_/1eaKblDbEMrJX
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/Mzconspikulous
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DTechsUSA/
I founded a total of 5 dialysis groups on Facebook but I am currently in 3 of those groups.
1. DIALYSIS NURSES ROCK PERIOD https://www.facebook.com/groups/WEDNRP/
2. POWER DIALYSIS TECH & STAFF GROUP (Now renamed and headed by Dwelyn)
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1417405875004281/
3. CCHT/BONENT GROUP
https://www.facebook.com/groups/146721199373914/
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